On our behalf

I love curling up my hair in a bun, adventuring into different braid styles and growing stylish side bangs. I fancy indulging myself on Saturday afternoons in beauty salons as I get a relaxing and nice manicure. I can’t help shopping for heels every now and then or stopping by the cosmetic section at the pharmacy whenever it reaches my eyesight.

I COULD NEVER BE A MAN. They’re so straight to the point. Never willing to take a detour at the supermarket or spend two extra minutes on the phone. What’s more, they can’t handle their ups and downs well and their world collapses at the slightest sniff of a problem. We, girls, have learned to shoulder our bloody period over a couple of painkillers and swallow the tears back as we get ready for school. We’ve learned not to be looked at in the eye by the waiter who’s taking our order and to be mocked when it comes to driving. And it’s alright.

WAIT. Not quite alright. But we don’t make a fuss about it simply because this is such an obvious matter, we all live and die, work and provide, build and protect. Which woman, in her right mind, would let a man take her parking spot for having a supposedly predominant gender?

Women are all different, I know. But if there’s something similar about us it is THE WAY WE DO THINGS. Maybe because most of us was raised to be clean and organized we tend to anticipate problems and do stuff rather than wait for it to be done. Women naturally do a lot more than their fair share of household chores. Most of them dedicate themselves entirely to their homes. They will cook, clean and dust alone without complaining and, most importantly, without having agreed with those exclusive post-wedding duties. 

And it’s quite unreasonable if you stop to think. Of all I’ve heard out there, however, the CRUELEST SCENARIO seems to be also the most common one. Let me explain. A mother who decides to reduce her workload in exchange for time with the kids will turn a blind eye to the fact that, one day, she could be left to raise them on her own with half the income she had before and no career perspective whatsoever to compete with non-mothers and men.

Then why the heck would a down-to-earth sensible person choose to change her routine? BIOLOGICAL FACTORS determine the number of hours a woman will spend parenting: she gets pregnant and breastfeeds, to start with. After that 6-month period, she will plan the morning by night, predict the unpredictable, put herself second and worry about creating new habits. Depending on where she lives, her wages won’t compensate for the expense she’ll have with childcare at after-school hours. If her job doesn’t allow a flexible schedule, if she can’t count on other people to spread the load or if she simply doesn’t want to delegate, her only solution will be resigning or getting a part-time job. Families will eventually make do because it’s a sink or swim matter. However, it doesn’t take much for us to conclude that there’s something odd about it all.